ALONE

She thinks love is being back together with me
The other knows me just by my voice, webcam and name
...yet midnight, Im alone again...

Should I try the arms of a lustful youth
or the distance of hope, yearning and pain?
...30 minutes pass by...

I sit in need, counting every single minute
no message or a call.. wtf.. am I going insane?
...an hour past midnight....

Is it foolish that I still just close my eyes
and decide keep waiting for both in vain?
...2 hours, no "Ju" or "July"....

Why am I still awake, waiting, desperate to make
Past mistakes that are dated to be repeated over again?
...2 and a half hours... why....

is one the world´s joy to me, is my smile yet far
the other; my only comfort that used to remain?
... three hours high....

she for whom I am all existence and life for her
or for whom I would happily give my soul and life in vain?
... four and I say bye....

Why am I always rewarded with sadness
and also loneliness and pain?


(written Saturday at 4 in the morning)